Best joke ever ;)

[CopperCandy]

Excuse me for offtop, it too funny, haha!14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 17. One mood, ALL the damn time.  18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. 19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. 20. You can open all your own jars.  26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me.". 27. No maxi-pads. 28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.  29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. 32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. i think its the best joke!

[CopperCandy]

Ok, if we're being sexist today, cop a load of this:  >:D You may have seen this before but it's always nice to have a good laugh.WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFASTShe's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.WOMEN'S REVENGE"Cash, check or charge?" Iasked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a televisionset in her purse."So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked."No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."UNDERSTANDING WOMEN(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)I know I'mnot going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still beafraid of a spider.MARRIAGE SEMINARWhile attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes anddislikes."He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It'sPillsbury, isn't it?CIGARETTES AND TAMPONSA man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for hiswife.She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a hugebag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir,I thought you were looking for sometampons for your wife?He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wifeto the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin oftobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.So, I figure if I have to roll my own ...so does she.(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)WIFE VS. HUSBANDA couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument andneither of them wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,! and pigs,the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."W O R D SA husband read an article to his wife about how many wordswomen use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeateverything to men.The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"CREATIONA man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can beso stup!d and so beautiful all at the same time."The wife responded, "Allow me to explain."God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;God made me stup!d so I would be attracted to you!WHO DOES WHATA man and his wife were having an argument about whoshould brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here andyou should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for mycoffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Biblethat the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believethat, show me."So shefetched the Bible, and opened the New Testamentand showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..."HEBREWS"The Silent TreatmentA man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving eachother the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning businessflight.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on apiece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AMand he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go andsee why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper bythe bed. Thepaper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.God may have created man before woman,but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. 😛 😀 

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